Reprogramming Your Sexual Code Will Boost Your Sex Life

The way we seek to have sexual contact, how often we seek it, whether we seek it at all, who we seek it from says a lot about who we are and how we see ourselves sexually.

Unfortunately for many of us, how we see ourselves sexually comes with a lot of emotional and sexual baggage and problems which start right after birth. Much of Western upbringing does not provide children with sexual training to develop their sex impulses correctly. Many parents in the Western cultures assume that their children are born with no concept of sex or sexuality. There is very little encouragement for children to pay attention to their sexual feelings and touching, caressing and skin contact between adults and children is kept to a minimal. Most parents are alarmed when a child shows sexual tendencies or what is considered “bad habits” and quickly try to break those “bad habits”. They intrude their anxious moralizing into the most intimate biological, emotional and spiritual processes of their children in order to curb possible sources of sexual excitation or masturbatory impulses. Children quickly learn not to touch their sexual parts and end up masturbating in solitude and always feeling a deep shame about it.

Even when children are taught about sex, the “birds and bees” biology format does not permit for sexual inquiry and exploration because adults subconsciously censor sexual vocabularies and reproduced them in disfigured clinical terms. Children learn that they shouldn’t engage in certain sexual behaviours, a few of them know why, but a majority do not know what to do with the sensations they experienced in their bodies moment to moment. As adults most people are not just physically but also sexually clumsy because they do not know the natural way of being sexual in the body. Instead of allowing sexual energy to freely flow through the whole body, they draw it up and out of the body and restrict and confine it above the neck. The rest of the body which is innately sensate, highly energized and spontaneous is frozen up to the point where it begins to shrivel and die. Even sexual language (and tone of voice) reflect this disconnection – dry, shallow, empty, and held back.

This baggage from childhood also manifests itself in fears of rejection; body image concerns and feelings of embarrassment or awkwardness; sexual shyness; sexual timidity; performance anxiety; anger towards the opposite sex etc. Even with relatively good parenting our evolving sexuality causes enormous tensions and stresses that tend to make it difficult to bond with the opposite sex.

Compare this to the African culture in which I was raised in where within weeks after birth, mothers begin the preparation of their children into adolescent and adult sex life. Mothers and grandmothers massage girls’ genitalia during infancy and girlhood. This massage is sometimes accompanied by stretching of the clitoris during the daily bath to elongate them. For boy infants, the foreskin is pulled back and cleaned at bathing and his penis and testicles teased and gently massaged. Mothers do not ignore the child’s heightened level of excitement and mimicking of adult sexual behaviour but instead softly massage the baby’s back, arms, scalp etc until the baby is relaxed and calm. This sexual training continues throughout childhood to adolescence and is completed at the rites of passage to adulthood schooling. Later on when a person engages in sexual relationships he or she is familiar and comfortable with his or her sexual feelings and desires. Healthy sexual development not only provides bliss for the individual, but also a harmonious family and “tribal” life. There is no unhealthy fascination or obsession, and no sexual inhibition, frustration and stress related conditions that most people in Western societies (North American) have.

You may not have received the sexual education you needed in your early years of development but you can reprogram your sexual code and become the mysterious and powerful, engaging, and magnetic sexual being and lover you’ve always wanted to be.

Overturning your deeply-rooted patterns of thought and behaviour involves more than simply seeing the “light” and moving forward in a blissful state of enlightened liberation. It requires a lot of self-reflection, willingness to look at yourself as you are (simmering resentments, emotional wounds, memories of painful humiliations, confusions, fears of inadequacy and rejection), and the courage to change the things you need to change.

Reprogramming your sexual code can change your sex life completely – and forever!

Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of e-Books: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness, Breaking A Bad Relationships Pattern, and Playing Hard-To-Get The Love Way.

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Has Sex Become Taboo

I know you’re asking, “WAH?” but think about this. How many married over-forty-somethings do you know that say they aren’t having sex?

How many friends do you have married 20+ years and they complain they never have sex with their spouse? I know, I know… stress, kids still living at home, activities and commitments wear us all thin. Those are all great reasons but are you feeling less connected to your spouse? Are all your conversations about the kids, making ends meet and the next disastrous expense you’re about to have to pay for? Has sex become an afterthought? When you finally get a relaxing evening are spending it watching an adult TV show, Chinese delivery and asleep by 10?

I’m not saying this isn’t legit but in the realm of taking care of everyone have you neglected each other? When you get an opportunity to fluff yourself up does your spouse even notice? Have you forgotten what intimacy is? Are there days you wish you had some but your spouse just isn’t on the same wave length? Do you even care anymore?

Life has us putting our own basic physical needs on the back burner. I’m talking food, shelter and feeling connected to someone. We all want it. No one wants to be truly alone but are there days in a house full of people you feel alone? Your spouse is doing their part of the work for the household, i.e. working and bringing home a paycheck, cleaning, cooking, laundry, but you feel disconnected. Is being intimate the last thing you think you have time for?

Now chat with your single forty-something+ friends. What do they talk about? If they’re in relationships they talk about intimacy. If they aren’t with anyone they’re looking for someone interested in providing it. Many of the people I’ve talked with mention how they’ve realized how important intimacy and sex are in their relationships.

Most are divorced and had lost intimacy with their spouses. A lot of them thought they had hormonal issues or ID and have since discovered this is far from the truth. Not making intimacy and sex a priority caused their lack of desire. Some of them were very surprised to find that 40+ year olds (and 50+) have just as much desire as they did at 30 (hence, 50 is the new 30). For most, function isn’t an issue either.

If sex has become a taboo activity in your home, bring it back! Date night, mini-vacations for just the two of you, and adding toys and flavored lubes can all help bring the spark back. Remembering what brought you together in the beginning is a good place to start. And never forget to read. I’m not talking Penthouse and Playboy, but blogs or books about intimacy and foreplay. Learn to enjoy one another again.

7 Popular Sexy Women’s Adult Halloween Costumes

Fantasies and sense of imagination don’t have to end just because you have already grown up. Halloween is for people of all ages who want to have fun. If you think about not attending Halloween parties because you find those costumes you used to wear while trick-or-treating as a little girl awkward, then you can get any of the sexy women’s adult Halloween costumes. This array of sexy costumes is designed for adult taste and will turn heads at a costume party.

Here are 7 popular sexy women’s adult Halloween costumes which will make you eager to attend costume parties again and will leave an impression that your friends will long remember.

Avatar Movie Sexy Neytiri Adult Costume

You can be the party’s provocative princess of Pandora with this gorgeous ensemble taken from Avatar movie. It consists of a blue bodysuit with bold stripes and attached tail, arm gauntlet, gray apron and multicolored apron and wrist beads.

Ms. Krueger Naughty Nightmare Adult Costume

You can be a dream girl during Halloween with this Ms. Krueger costume. It includes Freddy Krueger’s signature brown and red striped sweater dress slashed across the midsection. It also comes with a brown fedora hat and a glove.

Bella Vamp Adult Costume

You may not bite but you can have the vampire’s wicked charm with this Bella Vamp Adult Costume. This outfit features a long sleeve ruffle hem knit dress accentuated with a top hat, satin waist ribbon and a cape with the classic stand-up collar.

Jack Sparrow Sassy Adult Costume

This provocative pirate captain costume gives you the attention that you want. It includes a dress with attached decorative belt buckles, striped scarf, petticoat, boot covers and a burgundy bandana.

Black Swan Adult Costume

This beautiful black swan costume is a show stopper. Just watch the men look at you with awe as you walk into the room. It includes a sophisticated black corset detailed with black feather, a feathered tail, sexy black tulle skirt and an elegant feather choker. This dark swan ensemble also includes a feather headpiece.

Batgirl Deluxe Adult Costume

This sexy superhero may not have super powers but her allure and charm will bring men to their knees. This daring Batgirl costume consists of mini dress with the bat logo, glovelets, black cape, black Bat character eye mask, black boot tops and yellow vinyl belt.

Twilight Twinkle Adult Costume

Drive your victims wild with your gorgeous biting looks and this alluring vampire attire. This costume features a dress, a corset top with red lace and layered short skirt with fiber optic lights. There’s a hidden pocket so you can discreetly switch the optic lights on or off. It also comes with a red cape with a vampire collar, black necklace, and removable shoulder straps.

New Original Ideas for Sexy Costumes for Couples

Couples costumes are a hit. Sexy costumes are a hit. What could be better than combining the two and discovering some sexy couple costumes to wear for this Halloween?

But some people run into problems. If you have spent any time on the internet looking for couples costumes you may have been running across some of the same ones time after time. You will almost always see the plug and socket outfit or the rather silly looking Adam and Eve outfit. While those were cute for a while, I think they have just about run their course.

On the other hand, while you are looking for a sexy outfit, you may be running into the types that really should be left to the exotic dancer category rather than a fun way for you and your partner to spend an evening at a Halloween party or even at home after the kids are off to bed.

Given that there are literally hundreds of choices it seems a shame that these two options seem to be the two predominant results of searches for sexy costumes for couples.

Hopefully you’ll find a place online where you can get some other ideas and even spur you on to creating your own combinations out of all the wonderful fun sexy costumes that are available. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

The Butler and the French Maid

There are dozens of versions of a French Maid to choose from so there won’t be any danger of your partner getting you mixed up with another French Maid. Of course the guy doesn’t have to be a Butler either. Pair the French Maid with the Southern Gentleman or a Gentleman in Tailcoats or even the Midnight Stalker. Once you’ve discovered all the costumes that are available and gotten a few ideas to get you started, you can choose something that fits just right for the two of you.

Playboy and Playboy Bunnies

Although this may sound rather ordinary once you start looking around you’ll discover just how many unique ideas you can come up with just this basic idea as a starting point. You can start with the Men’s Smoking Jacket costume with the Playboy logo for the man. As for the ladies costume in this pair there are traditional playboy bunny costumes like the one coming out of the top hat. But do a search on the costume site for playboy costumes and you come up with over 35 official Playboy costumes in several different genres like police, gangster, maid, even a Playboy angel and Playboy witch costumes. Are you beginning to get the idea? There are so many ways to combine these wonderful costumes to create unique sexy couple costumes.

Football Costumes

The sexy men’s Tight End Costume will get you started. Pair that up with something like the women’s sexy wide receiver or the Sexy Referee costume. There are sexy tackle me costumes, touchdown costumes as well as a sexy Dallas cheerleaders costume.

Of course there are some costumes that are just really current this year and there’s nothing wrong with pairing them up in more traditional ways. Get one of these pairs that are super hot this year and you’ll be ahead of the curve while the other party goers are still stuck in the plug and socket stage.

Batman Costumes

Even though it’s been a while since the latest movie came out, the Batman theme, especially the Dark Knight costumes are popular and current.

There are over a dozen adult Batman costumes to choose from but the Dark Knight costumes are the sexiest. There are a couple of really sexy Batgirl costumes but there are other ways to pair up with the Dark Knight. You could get a Poison Ivy or DC Comics Gotham girls, but my personal favorite is the Catwoman costume.

Avatar Costumes

The Avatar Movie Sexy Neytiri Costume is truly stunning. There’s even a makeup kit just for doing the blue Avatar makeup. Pair that up with the Avatar Movie Jake Sully Costume for an eye-catching couples costume that is current and beautiful.

There are funny sexy couple costumes, historic sexy costumes, movie star and TV character sexy costumes. You don’t have to settle for the same options or even pair your costumes as suggested. I could go on and on and that is the point. Any couple looking for sexy couple costumes literally has hundreds of options. It can be as much fun picking out your costumes as it is wearing them when you are aware of all the sexy couple costumes that are available at the tip of your fingertips.